A Post-Tisha B’Av Thought

            As Tisha B’Av 5774 comes to an end, so does Israel’s Operation Protective Edge with the final troops leaving Gaza.

            The camaraderie and unity engendered by this war throughout the land and in truth with Jews around the world was something to behold.  One poignant event says it all.  Some of the hospitals where soldiers were being treated had to announce that visitors should not come before checking with the hospital because it was just too overwhelming due to the multitude of well‑wishes who were coming to be “Makir Tov.”  Other examples include constant Tehillim and extra learning sessions on behalf of the “chayalim.”  This author can further attest to the fact that many “chareidim” attended the funerals of “lone soldiers” that drew thousands from across the spectrum.

            So, perhaps, we are finally headed in the right direction.  One of the major cardinal sins that resulted in the destruction of the Second Beis Hamikdash was “sinas chinam,” simple wanton hatred of Jew to his fellow Jew.  In order to ameliorate this “aveira,” there is a need for “ahavas chinam” – simple love for another Jew.  This feeling was initiated with the horrific murder of three yeshiva boys and continued for the duration of the Gaza defensive.  Yidden were finally looking beyond the pettiness that divides us and instead focusing on the core Torah values that unites us.

            So, where do we go from here?  As we approach Shabbos Nachamu, a surge of comfort and consolation envelops us.  But has anything really changed?  Is it just the tragic events that brought us together that could dissipate in a short period of time?

            The Yerushalmi states:

                        “Kol mi shelo nivneh Beis Hamikdash beyomov, keilui hechrivu.”

Whoever did not merit that the Beis Hamikdash was rebuilt in his day, it is as if he destroyed it.

            The question is striking.  I destroyed the Beis Hamikdash?  What do you want from little me?  I don’t control Klal Yisroel.  I can’t influence the masses to make major changes in their ideology.  The Talmedei Ba’al Shem Tov give a beautiful pragmatic response.  We are told that the Third Beis Hamikdash will initially be built through the deeds of each and every Jew.  We should imagine for a moment that through our mitzvas and massim tovim, we represent a brick in the Beis Hamikdash, as do our fellow Jews as well.  Thus, if we don’t do our utmost to create our part in the great edifice known as the Beis Hamikdash, then in reality, it is as if we destroyed it because it can’t be built without our participation.  In the final analysis, of course, we desire the collective participation of all Jews with a mutual feeling of love and respect for each other.  However, in reality, it’s is not our worry to be concerned how the rest of Klal Yisroel will come together in a feeling of achdus and camaraderie.  We have to be worried about ourselves.           (אם אין אני לי מי לי).  “Our bricks” are the litmus test.  In our day we should provide our bricks for the Beis Hamikdash; if not, it is as if we destroyed it!

            Permit me to present some ideas to help us strengthen ourselves in the realm of “ahavas habrios.”

            We are familiar with the chazal that 24,000 students of Rebbi Akiva perished because they didn’t accord each other proper honor and respect.  To reduce their actions to mundane disrespect such as we know it would be denigrating to the greatest Tanaim of that era.  Rather, as the Baalai Mussar point out, there was an infinitesimal degree of lack of kavod which was magnified and brought with it tragic results because of how great they were.  They were held to a different standard because they were talmidim of the great Rebbi Akiva who taught ואהבת לרעך כמוך as the כלל גדול בתורה.

            To a large degree, we who are B’nei Torah are held to a higher bar when it comes to our actions, especially our outlook and interaction with other Jews.  The Torah Jew is supposed to know better and behave accordingly with ahavas yisroel to others that are perhaps different than us in their hashkafa.

            The reason it is so difficult to accept others that are not like us, has its roots in the middah of ga’avah – haughtiness.  We think that our way and our derech is the correct and only way.  We can’t give credence to others because then we wonder why we are not like them.  So, the only defense is an offense to negate them and what they stand for.  The passuk states:

כמים פנים אל פנים כן לב האדם לאדם

Just as water reflects our face so, too, is the heart of man to his fellow man.

The Gerrer Rebbe זצ"ל asked why is the imagery of water mentioned when speaking of a reflection.  The passuk should have mentioned the reflection of a mirror which produces a much sharper and clearer image.  The Rebbe זצ"ל answered that when you gaze at yourself in the mirror, you stand erect and tall, whereas, looking at your reflection in the water requires you to bend down at the seashore.  This teaches us that only when you humble yourself and bend down can you connect the heart of man to his fellow man.

            It behooves us to respect the Torah of others, the mesorim of others, the way of life of others as long as they follow their Rabbonim who instruct them in their “derech.”  It is interesting to note that the letters immediately following the letters of  ר-ע-ך – friend – spell ש-פ-ל – to humble oneself. (ר-ש, ע-פ,כ-ל)

            Someone once pointed out to me that the word in Hebrew for Yedid – ידיד actually is comprised of יד & יד  - going hand in hand with your friend.  A beautiful illustrative story is as follows.  I made annual visits to the City of Rechovot to visit the Chief Rabbi, Rav Simcha Cook, who is a close friend.  From our close relationship and seeing the Rov in action, I was well aware of his effusive and deeply-rooted Ahavas Yisroel.  One Shabbos as we were eating Seudah Shelishis, a man came in screaming, “Kavod HaRav. This Egged bus driver is already in the bus with the engine on and Shabbos is not over yet!” I watched as Rav Kook arose and motioned to all assembled to follow him outside.  Lo and behold, there was the bus with the driver in his seat ready to go! Rav Kook, with his inimitable warmth and love started a nigun and told everyone to form a circle in front of the bus. After a few moments, Rav Kook went to the door of the bus and motioned to the driver to come down and join the group.  The Rav took his hand and lovingly danced with him for a minute or two in the circle.  As soon as the z’man for Motzei Shabbos arrived, Rav Kook looked at his watch and gave the driver a beautiful bracha and said “Sim Shalom” travel in peace, that’s a true ידיד ; when it’s Yad b’Yad.

            As the Jewish calendar reaches “Shabbos Nachamu,” we all breathe a sigh of relief.  Is it because we survived the fast, or perhaps we can now attend that concert that we anxiously awaited for these past few weeks when music was restricted?  What transformation occurred regarding our mourning for the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash?  Has anyone started building the Third Temple?  I believe the true answer to my last question is a resounding “Yes.”  We are the builders.  As we learn the lesson of Tisha B’Av properly, we may rejoice that we are on a new life path of building אהבה, אחוה, ורעות.  These are the rudimentary elements necessary to merit the Third and permanent Beis Hamikdash.

            The passuk tells us  (בראשית מה', יד)  that when Yosef and Binyamin met after years of separationויפל על צוארי בנימין אחיו ויבך, ובנימין בכה על צואריו  -  - And he fell on the neck of Binyomin, his brother, and cried and Binyomin cried on his neck.

            The Talmud in Megillah 16B comments on the fact that the word for neck regarding Binyamin is צוארי in the plural as if he had two necks.  This Gemara explains that this means that Yosef cried on the necks of Binyamin referring to the two Temples that would be destroyed on his property.  Binyamin cried for Mishkan Shilo that would be in Yosef’s portion.  The commentators questioned why specifically at the time of joy and reunion did they cry?  Furthermore, why did they cry for each other’s loss and their own.  A great Chassidic Rebbe, Rav Yechezkel M’Kuzmir זצ"ל gives a beautiful answer.  As stated earlier, the second “Bayis” was destroyed because of “sinas chinam”  The separation of Yosef and his brothers with their eventual journey to Egypt also was an outgrowth of wanton hatred when the brothers reunited and realized what sin brought all this about, they also saw prophetically that this same sin of
“sinas chinam” would wreak havoc in the future; as well for this they indeed cried! Yet, they didn’t just burst out with emotional cries!  They attempted to “fix” the problem and to ameliorate the “sinas chinam.”  For this reason they cried for each other, to display “ahavas chinam” in an attempt to remove once and for all ”sinas chinam” from the midst of the Klal Yisroel.  Furthermore, Yosef not only displayed tremendous love to Binyamin whom he never hated, but he was “mochel” his brothers for throwing him into the pit and selling him to the Yishmaylim.

            It is not sufficient to just talk about love for our fellow man.  We must take affirmative steps and actions to demonstrate our feelings for one another.  Every effort on our part “is building bricks of “ahavas chinam” for which we can truly feel brings with it a sense of “nechama.”

            We need and we must change Hashem’s “Midas HaDin: to “Midas HaRachamim.”   The Belzer Rebbe זצ"ל once said ואהבת לרעך if you love your friend כמוך which is the same numerical value as אלקים  - 86 – representing strict justice, then אני ה' I will display the name of Hashem, which is mercy and loving kindness.  In short, if you give love, you get love.

This then is our key to bring forth the Geulah.  The war in Gaza has galvanized a nation in unity and strength and as a Rosh Yeshiva so eloquently stated   חמאס - stands for Chassidim, Misnagdim, Ashkenazim and Sefardim.

The numerous Kedoshim and, in particular, the three Yeshiva boys, taught us all how to cry and pray together as one tzibbur regardless of our external physical differences. 
Now is the time!  Let’s not procrastinate!

(516) אהבת חינם      =       יבנה המקדש (516)

שנזכה במהרה בימנו אמן.